Himmelsbrief

“It is a strange thing, after all, to be able to return to a moment, when it can hardly be said to have any reality at all, even in its passing. A moment is such a slight thing. I mean, that its abiding is a most gracious reprieve.” Marilyn Robinson, Gilead

“I wish I could leave you certain of the images in my mind, because they are so beautiful that I hate to think they will be extinguished when I am. Well, but again, this life has its own mortal loveliness… memory is not strictly mortal in its nature.,.” Marilyn Robinson, Gilead

“It is no accident, Ma, that the comma resembles a fetus— that curve of continuation. We were all once inside our mothers, saying with our entire curved and silenced selves, more, more, more.” Ocean Vuong, On Earth Were Briefly Gorgeous

“Love has, at its best, made the inherent sadness of life bearable, and its beauty manifest” Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind

Kay Refield Jamison: An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

“I’m tired of hiding, tired of misspent and knotted energies, tired of the hypocrisy and tired of acting as though I have something to hide.” An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison.

“Grief work is not passive: it implies an ongoing practice of deepening, attending, and listening. It is an act of devotion, rooted in love and compassion” —Francis Weller

“Your absence has gone through me/like thread through a needle./ Everything I do is stitched with its color” —MS Merwin

I set a table for grief. I welcome it in. “Establishing a relationship with grief, developing practices that keep us steady in times of distress, and staying present in our adult selves are among the central tasks in our apprenticeship with sorrow” —Francis Weller

Syrian tea glasses to offer my children tea. Belles of Ireland, which once grew in our garden in West Des Moines, and smelled of honey. A little basket I wove in which I carry memories. A piece of linen I stitched to stitch up all our wounds. Little Turkish bowls I brought back from Istanbul that used to hold seeds we gathered, milkweed tufts, wolves’ teeth. My eye of Fatima prayer beads from Sarajevo to ward off evil or harm. Seashells from Woody’s house in Florida. Marigolds to call lost souls back home. Peruvian pine spell I bought at a farmacia in L.A. for the protection of my children. Lichen to remember to think in deep time.